ghoulgaarden:

shower me in various black items of clothing and hundred dollar bills

(Source: hexgurls)

152,503 notes

narcotic:

parents: i want the truth

me: *tells truth*

parents: nope youre lying wrong answer

512,523 notes

theyellowbrickroad:

when i was 14 i sent a really mean message to this guy because i thought he was cheating on my best friend and it was like “i cant believe you would do that to her you piece of shit you dont deserve her” but it turned out he didnt and it was a big confusion and he was like “what are you talking about” and i panicked and said they were song lyrics

42,090 notes

spunkydads:

the problem with rich people is that i am not one

(Source: spunkypapa)

435,186 notes

angeldictator:

I wonder if any of my friends had a crush on me but then got to know me and were like “haha no, dodged a bullet there.”

207,735 notes

janoskifags:

basedgosh:

im 5 years old i dont care i laughed at this bird
image

image

(Source: basedgosh)

225,548 notes

skypestripper:

we all used to have 0 followers so don’t be an asshole to people with less followers than you

343,998 notes

lamelohan:

teacher: why didnt you do your homework last night??

me: im trying to save my virginity till i get out of high school sorry

37,192 notes

looxury:

HAVE YOU EVER FELT SO DESPERATE ABOUT SOMEONE NOT LIKING YOU BACK, THAT YOU JUST GET THIS TIGHT, SQUEEZING FEELING IN YOUR CHEST AND IT JUST HURTS SO MUCH

(Source: uncombined)

51,444 notes

youtubes5ever:

idealisthymnal:

aangnog:

probend:

PE is 5% exorcise and 95% embarrassment 

what kind of gym class do you have that exorcises their kids

image

I laughed so fucking hard jesus

356,132 notes

leftists:

In fifth grade we were making little clay statues and mine came out shitty so I left a big air pocket in it so it would explode when the teacher put it in the kiln and it exploded so hard it destroyed ten other kids’s statues and they were all on the verge of tears I thought it was really funny I still do

(Source: chekhov)

253,694 notes

swoobats:

alphabet soup more like times new ramen am i right

353,308 notes