skyrover9:

mkaiser323:

It’s fun to chant “Bloody Mary” into your car’s side mirror three times and watch her jog and try to keep up.

Being a dick even to demons

386,908 notes

flyichiro:

the other day we were discussing dating and this one dude was like “I don’t see the big deal why can’t people just ask people out without all the fuss” and another guy was like “well you get nervous and you get butterflies in your stomach ya know” and the first dude looked the other dude straight in the eye and said “DIGEST THEM.”

(Source: aiicheerio)

232,508 notes
Even if we’re married for 23 years,
I still want you to flirt with me.
― A novel written by me. - princessariel2323 (via perfect)
233,427 notes
Some people are so broken,
They get mad at you for being whole.
― I wish I had heard this years ago (via aurelle)

(Source: jawnsbejawnin)

344,772 notes

koalatea:

i hate when ppl make fun of me for trying 2 be positive and spread good vibes like fuck your bitter ass i spent a good portion of my short life being bitter and angry and suicidal if i wanna shoot sunshine out of my ass then i fuckin will 

174,014 notes

fffc:

got a masters degree in being ignored

505,897 notes

mama-bird:

coffeeandklonopin:

coffeeandklonopin:

carpe diem - seize the day

carpe noctem - seize the night

carpe natem - seize the ass

Seriously, if you guys don’t stop reblogging this I am going to carpe someone’s neck and break it.

carpe collum - seize the neck

(Source: caffeineandcartridges)

450,663 notes

onlinegf:

you were born to impress no one but yourself

(Source: onlinegf)

85,088 notes

dajo42:

whenever somebody says like “so what did you do today?” just look off into the distance and say “the right thing”

150,585 notes

zackisontumblr:

*taps foot impatiently while waiting for someone to date me*

110,524 notes

lggyzalea:

when you’re out with your friends and someone really hot walks by 

image

184,611 notes

kiradax:

pros of turning 18: can legally do the stuff i already do
cons of turning 18: no longer the dancing queen

185,470 notes